I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
