What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
