I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
did you just send me my own nude
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
