what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize