There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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