Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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