you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
