just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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