i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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