So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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