Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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