Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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