Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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