The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
