hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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