Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
