Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
