I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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