Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
