Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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