I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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