We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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