This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize