it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
