Ambien. No doubt about it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
