I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
