Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
