Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
