OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
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You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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