Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
