bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
