Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
