butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
