So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
