He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
