Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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