I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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