Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
