Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
