I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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