every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
