After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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