Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize