Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize