FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
