dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
