3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
