do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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