I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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