I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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