Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize