I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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