I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
