Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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